Connect by being candid
By Rick Warren
— February 26, 2010
"An honest answer is the sign of a true friendship." Proverbs 24:26 (GNT)
The fourth key to connecting with people is this:
Be candid about problems in the relationship.
Being candid and being connected go together. You don't have one without the other. Genuine, healthy, deep, meaningful relationships are built on honesty, not on flattery. Flattery is a sign of a manipulator, not a sign of somebody who is genuinely your friend.
All of us have blind spots. The question that really matters is, do you have anybody in your life who loves you enough to point them out? You cannot grow unless somebody points out the things that you can't see in your life, but that need changing. Let me give you three rules for being candid in relationships:
1. Compliment in public, correct in private. Do this with your children, your spouse, your employees, and your friends.
2. Correct when they're up and not down. When I'm feeling good, I can handle almost any correction. When I'm feeling tired, I can't handle anything. Timing is everything when you're being candid.
3. Never offer correction until you've proven that you are also willing to be corrected. Remember, seek to understand before seeking to be understood. You open up your life before you expecting someone else to be open with you.
Connecting means we care enough to be candid. Who do you need to get honest with? Is there an issue you need to be candid about? "An honest answer is the sign of a true friendship." (Proverbs 24:26 GNT)