Resolve Conflict by Confessing Your Part
By Rick Warren
— June 20, 2012
Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend's eye, but you don't notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend's eye. (Matthew 7:3-5 NCV)
When you are faced with a conflict, instead of accusing, attacking, or blaming the other person, begin with humility. This is true even if the conflict is 90% their fault.
Everyone has blindspots. No one is perfect and there are things we do that contribute toward a conflict that we have difficulty seeing.
So, before I start attacking and blaming, I need to do a frank evaluation and ask, "How much of this conflict is my fault?" I need to do an honest checkup and admit my part. When you're wrong, admit it.
And when you're right, shut up!
Be honest with yourself. Jesus says to look at what is in your own eye first and that will help you see the conflict clearly.
Ask, "Am I being unrealistic? Am I being insensitive? Am I being over-sensitive? Am I being too demanding? Am I being ungrateful?"
My experience as a pastor: the number one excuse for divorce is: "We're incompatible!" The Bible teaches that any two people can learn to love each other if they will grow up!
But our nature is to be self-centered and stubborn, unwilling to change! More relationships die from inflexibility than anything else
The Bible teaches we must lead with humility. How do you break a logjam in a conflict? Say, "I'm sorry, I was only thinking of myself."
Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and most influential churches. Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life . His book, The Purpose Driven Church , was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th century. He is also founder of Pastors.com , a global Internet community for pastors.
This devotional © 2012 by Rick Warren. All rights reserved. Used by permission.